Dust in the Wind: A Panda Farewell by Sterling Pingree


It was announced Monday night that Red Sox back up third baseman Pablo Sandoval would have surgery to repair a torn labrum and will miss the remainder of the season. This is my farewell to the Panda, as I believe that if he plays next season, it will be some where other than Boston. I read the eulogy below on The Drive, listen to the audio at the bottom of this post.

If I said that I was shocked to hear the news, I would be lying.

Much like somebody was this spring when you said that the team never asked you to lose weight.

Who were we kidding? As soon as Red Sox Nation got an eyeful of your ample belly, we knew your season was going to be a cameo rather than a starring role.

You lost your job, and Aaron Jackson went to the zoo and rallied your panda troops in hopes of getting you another chance at 3rd base. (Read The Drive blog on Bangor Daily News.com/blogs)

But it all came unhinged, or shall we say unlatched north of the border, when you took a swing more fruitless than your diet and your belt simply gave up. Like Benny Rodriquez busting the guts out of a ball in The Sandlot, this was an omen for your 2016 season.

Your shoulder started bothering you, and John Farrell described it like one of Clay Buchholz unspeakable maladies. “Tightness, night off, evaluate tomorrow.” And then, Travis Shaw became the Mayor of Ding Dong City and suddenly the shoulder was so bad it couldn’t even be evaluated by the Great Dr. James Andrews.

Your season ends with 7 plate appearances, 0 hits, 1 walk, 4 strike outs and $17.6 million dollars earned.

The irony of ironies, is that for the Red Sox, to get your HEFTY contract off the books and trade you somewhere. They’ll have to EAT, your contract.




Sterling Head ShotSterling Pingree (@SterlingPingree on Twitter) is a co-host on The Drive, weekdays 4pm-6pm on 92.9fm The Ticket. Follow The Drive on Twitter, @DriveShowMaine and “Like Us” on Facebook, Drive Show Maine. Stream the Drive live on 929TheTicket.com.